My writing. – A Pinch of Seasalt

Cheerleaders.

My kids are my biggest fans. It’s not a secret and I love them for it far more than they know. In fact, they are constantly telling friends, strangers and even teachers about my latest accomplishments. (That last little bit came with a bit of a shock as most of the kids in class were familiar with my books, which prompted said teacher to pledge to read them for himself… Ahem… Hope he likes a little steam 😉

My mornings begin an hour before my house awakes, with me stumbling desperately for the coffeemaker and soon thereafter toward my computer. The morning after I officially finished my second book, my son had left me a note to brighten my morning and push me along…

This house is loud, crazy, full of squabbles, laughter and love. It makes my days long and exhausting sometimes making sure that everyone is up, dressed, fed, driven to and from school, fed again, homework, busy evenings and loads of conversations, but it is amazing just how much I crave the crazy when it’s quiet. Like now. Granted, I get my work done, which has given me a path back to being myself, not just Supermom, but has done wonders for what my children believe they can accomplish if they try hard and dream big.

F-bomb.

My smallest son swears. For a long time I refused to acknowledge it. Even tried to deny it. Nope, not true. MY adorable angel drop an F-bomb?!? Unheard of.

That is, until I heard it with my own two ears. There is nothing that can prepare you for THAT word coming out of THAT mouth. We wait for so long for them to utter their first word, hoping for a “mama” while watching them paddle off in their diapers. Only to be rewarded half-a-decade later with him stomping his foot in front of a video game, launching the controller across the room and screaming my least favorite four letter F-word at the top of his lungs at his older brother.

Or when I ground him for a messy room. He spouts off the S-word.

Or when he tumbles down the last three steps of the staircase and hurts himself. He screams one beginning with the letter D.

Or when he stubs his toe on his favorite T-Rex toy on his way to bed…

And then I pondered for a moment, where on Earth could he have learned that word? School? His brother? Me?!?

Noooooo…. He had two sources. Two SHINING examples. One was notorious for swearing at the Eagles football games on TV. The other was constantly cursing and throwing wrenches across the room at his autoshop. Together over beers and BBQ’s had enriched my sons vocabulary to the beauty that it is today….

I just hope I never get a call from the Principal to discuss exactly HOW he chooses to express himself…

Muddle of Pudd.

I’m Piper. And I thought for a very long time about naming our adventures “Getting Paid In Eye Rolls.” But then my oh-so–brilliant firstborn delivered the gem that would stick with us. Like a puddle of mud…

You already know me; fun, sarcastic coffee-fueled girly girl. I love red wine, dark chocolate, my kids, my hubby, and giggling. I don’t hold still well and I hate being cold. Or sticky. I HATE being STICKY. My motto is if momma ain’t happy, nobody will be. They’ve caught on pretty quick.

Allow me to introduce the troops…

Grumpy: My hubs. Sports fanatic, beer connoisseur. Hard working, too smart for his own good, and constantly looking for the bigger better deal. Loves me, the kids, the dogs, cigars, scotch, swearing, and most days the Philadelphia Eagles.

Bear: Kindest teenager on the block. The golden child. My firstborn. Super talented, UBER smart and always challenging himself to do a little better, try a little harder. Best helper EVER. Self proclaimed Mamas boy and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Aspires to be a scientist, Engineer or BATMAN. Loves legos, drawing, video games (playing, programming) his little brother, me and the cat. Hates eggs.

The Princess: Sweet Rapunzel with a bit of sass. My very own Punky Brewster wrapped in anything pink. Energy for days, this girl must be moving. Wearing out the dogs or twirling until I’m dizzy. She is a beautiful angel with the sharpest tongue and the hottest temper. Has adopted mommy’s advice to be “just as smart as I am pretty.” She loves playing with dolls, tea parties, bonding with the dogs and playing in the mud. Hates sweet potatoes and raw onions.

Moo: My diabolical, dimpled, angel faced babydoll. Bart Simpson meets Dennis the Menace. Likes to be good, but loves to be naughty. Rarely admits to anything and shows no remorse either way. Then melts in my arms and snuggles down into all the soft places. You can see my dilemma… Loves Star Wars (particularly the villians) Jurassic world, because of the T-rex and Indominous Rex, legos, video games and zip-up-hoodies (the kind that go over your face.) Hates: spaghetti, school, cleaning his room and snow.

Fugly: Our HUGE French Mastiff who loves to play, slobber, eat, chew up our deck and make me sneeze. He drives me crazy but scares the hell out of the neighborhood, so I’ll keep him. Besides, he has the most adorable smile!

Miss Pants: His wife. Our English Bulldog. She is as wide as she is tall and has the face only a Fugly could love. She snaps at him all day and snuggles him all night. She wears opera length gloves and stalks me in the bathroom. She’s a good fit around here.

Mischief: the cat. Lives in my cottage. She’s very sweet. She eats, poops and scratches the wall.

P-dubs: my dad. Best Grandpa in the world as he has refused to grow up. Loves to be babysat by his grandkids, travel, draw lighthouses and take his “tridlets” to restaurants. Special skill: talking backwards. I don’t mean sdrawkcab gniklat, I mean balking tackwards.

Chocolate covered; my sis. The beloved Aunt. The one they would REALLY want to live with if they decided to ditch me, all because she has a snack cupboard and a “oh-let-the-little-darlings-do-whatever-they-want” attitude. Don’t get me wrong, I love her more than marzipan, but there are rules that must be obeyed. And SCHEDULES. And bedtimes.

Sensei; Big. Burly. Hard as nails, heart of gold. Would fly to the moon for my kiddos, loves them like his own. Loves karate, motorcycle riding, shooting guns and camping. Always up for anything, and always eager to lend a hand on all my labor-intensive projects. Somehow he fits into our big crazy family and he always has a reserve spot at our table.

There are more and undoubtedly you will meet them a bit at a time, but that is enough for now. It’s lunchtime, and a girl simply MUST keep her priorities straight.

Cheers!

dead RingeR…

I am finally finished with my second book. A short novella, quick, sweet and to the point. I held off for a while trying to decide if it needed more. More dialogue, more transition, more background or character depth. Ultimately, I could have taken another six months “puffing it up” but I liked the raw, fast pace of this downward spiral. A trail into madness.

Natasha, a successful girl-next-door type finds her doppelganger in a blogger she discovers by chance. Completely swept off her feet by this woman who’s life is much bigger and far more glamorous than her own. She soon becomes obsessed with Eden, this blogger who seems to have it all. The lifestyle, money, superhot boyfriend, and all the attention she could want.

But what about the attention she isn’t counting on? What happens when this look-at-me generation forgets to look over their shoulders? When they post that uber-cute picture hoping to impress strangers and gain another follower? What if that’s exactly what happens? Do we want strangers knowing all of the minute little details of our lives? What happens when we leave the doors open offering them just a little peek?

Can anybody blame Natasha for following the trail of breadcrumbs left before her? Or for what happens when she slowly slips into insanity far too delicious to miss out on? It just may make you think twice before posting that picture.

Bloody Mary TEASER….

CHAPTER ONE – DEFLATED

My earliest memories were of standing on a sidewalk in the bright afternoon sun, watching the bank of windows above me. I anxiously searched for her face anticipating a chance to wave to my mother. This would be one of many times my father would drop me off on the East sidewalk, nearest the psych ward, as children under twelve were not permitted inside.

If I were lucky, she would be feeling well enough to come with him to the window to blow me a kiss. However, if she had just had shock treatments, or was having a particularly bad day, the windows would remain empty, my father would return with the car, sigh deeply as he opened my door and we would ride home together shedding silent tears.

I was far too young to understand why she was not with us, or why she was different from all the moms in our neighborhood. The ones who would make spaghettios for dinner and buy ding dongs and go to PTA meetings.

We lived in the heart of suburbia, and my father seemed as normal as the next guy, getting up and leaving for work each day, tucking me in each night. Yet at the time I didn’t realize exactly how unusual it was to have a bathtub full of blood and an ambulance in my driveway on any given night.

Zen

A quick short I wrote once upon a time. I always liked this one:

ZEN

“Reach up overhead and inhale….”

Get gas, get gas. I have got to remember to get gas on the way home. I can’t forget. And while I’m at it…

“exhale…”

I might as well go to the grocery store. Maybe I could just wrap it into one trip. If I do it right after this, I might be able to fit it in before picking up the kids from school.

“into downward facing dog.”

Oh, I need to get some dog food. Can’t forget that. They have been eating bread and peanut butter for two days. Ouch, I don’t know that I am supposed to bend like this. I really should do this more often so that I’m more flexible. It would be so good for me. I should get in really good shape. Then I could get a new dress for Danielle’s wedding. Which reminds me…

“And lower into plank pose…”

What the heck is plank pose? Anyway, I need to send a check for my nephew’s birthday. And I can’t forget to drop off a check to the kids school for their lunches. This pose is really hard, but I can feel muscles I didn’t know I had. Interesting.

“inhale and slide back into child’s pose.”

Childs pose. I like child’s pose. Not a lot of work.

“From here I want you to take a few cleansing breaths. Clear your mind.”

Clear my mind? Is she out of her mind? I have entirely too much to remember to be able to clear my mind. For instance, I need to gather all the information to submit the taxes to the accountant. I also need to make a dermatologist appointment for Shelly. I didn’t like the way her mole has changed colors. She really should stay out of the sun. If she only knew how important it is to take care of her body. Like with this yoga. I’m so proud of myself for carving out the time-

“Inhale. Deep cleansing breath.”

-to come and do something good for my body.

“and exhale out through the mouth”

This really does feel good. I should make the commitment to myself to-

“Clear the mind.”

-make it here several times a week. And water. I should start drinking a lot more water.

“Inhale. Fill your body with oxygen.”

Maybe I should take naps. Certainly vitamins. That would be so good for me.

“Exhale all your stresses away. Feel your body relax.”

I wish I could relax. It would be so nice to be able to let go and…

“be in the moment.”

Yes, that would be nice to…

“just…be.”

-Piper Stewart 2011

Dolls and stories…

There is so much swirling around inside my head that I don’t know what to latch on to. My dolls are screaming to be made… (and all I want to make are the Halloween ones…)

I had started re-vamping a story I had stashed away, but the minute I sit here at the computer, all I seem to do is hear Katrina (from Bloody Mary).

I have had a lot of positive feedback from the people who have read my book, or even excerpts from it. In fact, I think from here on out, I will post the pages that don’t make the books on this blog. Like a little teaser. I have one I’m dying to put on here already, but it would be a bit of a spoiler….

Piper’s Bloody Mary Mix

*Samantha’s Favorite*

-1 Bottle (46 oz) tomato/veggie juice cocktail (pick your favorite!)

-Juice of 1 lemon

-1 teaspoon brown sugar

-1 Tablespoon steak sauce

-1 Tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

-1 Tablespoon prepared horseradish

(use a teaspoonful if you don’t like it spicy.)

-1 Tablespoon hot pepper sauce

(again, start slow if you’re shy, you can always kick-her-up later…)

-1 dash of garlic oil (you can fresh press a clove for the oil, or use the whole clove. I don’t care. I like what it adds to the flavor!

Mix the tomato juice and lemon juice in a large pitcher. Add brown sugar, steak sauce and Worcestershire. Add your other seasonings a little at a time, tasting as you go. When it tastes amazing at this stage, cover and refrigerate if you can manage not to drink it all.

The flavors will meld and become even more tasty! Add a good healthy shot of your favorite Vodka, or even leave it out for the kiddos (two out of three of mine loved this mix. The third doesn’t like anything anyway, so was I surprised? No.)

Garnish with some fresh celery and maybe even some spanish olives if you like. It’s your drink, do what ever you want.

I highly suggest serving this with a side of your hubbys spicy hot chicken wings with bleu cheese dipping sauce…..

Mmmmmmmmm…nom. Oh, what a good day…..

Bloody Mary

“Trust had never been such a lethal game…”

On Friday my book is being featured on Kindle Scout. I am so excited to finally be working toward a dream! It’s a non-traditional route I’m taking, but I hope it will give me more free time to actually work on my stories, rather than figure out what to do with them. Besides, who can’t use all the open doors they can get, right?

I have been working on this story forever, and have finally decided to let it be seen, be read, blossom into what it will, all while crossing my fingers until they are blue.

If you have a kindle, and are interested in what goes on in my head….. Here she is…

*By the way, the cover photo is by the very talented (and very kind) David Olkarny.